There are many different types of pain.
There's the pain of love.
The pain of someone who you thought was going to love you through everything slips through the slits in your fingers and all you can do as you stand in the shower is let the hot, soapy water sting your eyes.
The pain of anger.
Your nails dig into the palm and your skin burns as your blood begins to boil and hot, angry tears run down your cheekbones and fall off the curve of your jaw.
The pain of betrayal.
You sit there wallowing in the misery of mistrust and your stomach churns and your hope falls flat onto the floor beneath you.
The pain in goodbye.
Breath. You breath slow, choppy breaths as you try to keep the tears from leaving the ducts and you look into their eyes and think about the first moment you ever saw them, the first hello, and you pray to fucking god that this is not the last goodbye and your ears crave the sound of your next hello.
The pain of self hatred.
You spend the majority of your time reminding people how beautiful they are, because everyone is just as beautiful as you say, except for yourself. Will someone love me for my flaws? Surely one day. Will I love me for my flaws? Unlikely. Your own hands grip your thighs and squeeze your tummy, the mirror showing only the wrong reflection.
The truth is, there is pain in everything. Your decisions will hurt other people and your decisions will hurt you. But it's not about the pain, it's the person that the pain turns you into.
