and now
i can’t even look myself in the eye anymore because i feel like none of me
is good enough;
because
why would anyone ever leave
if i was good enough?
i cant even look myself in the eye,
because i feel like this person who
people use for their own benefit,
make me feel like
i’m something special,
and throw me away
when my purpose in their life
is over.
these people
always
get what they want -
but what about me?
what about my feelings?
they’re on the other side
content
with what has happened,
and here i am,
not even capable
of looking myself in the eye
because i can’t help
but want to scream
and run away from myself.
people use you,
leave you
and find someone new,
but what about me?
what about the love i have
for them despite it all
or what about the fact
i find myself praying for them secretly
to god with a face full of tears?
these people are on the other side,
content with what has happened,
and here i am
watching myself get replaced
with
someone new
and better;
and you see.
this is all i’ve ever been worth -
they make me feel special
and attach myself to
new hopes
and dreams
i’ve lost in the past.
only to realize that at the end of the day
you were just a time pass
and you’ve been easily replaced
with someone new.
i’ve been replaced with someone new,
but what about them?
will i ever be able to replace them?
and i can’t even look myself in the eye
because god damn,
no i can’t ever replace them
and i don’t know if
i hate myself for that
or them,
i think it’s myself i hate,
it’s always,
just always myself.
