Everyday I’m in a constant battle between who I was, who I am, and who I should be. It was never about who I want to be, because what I wanted never really mattered to anyone. They tell you to be selfless but honestly, the more selfless I was, the more lost I got unable to think of a life where I can just live for me.
I was taught to understand and care for others before myself, but never learned how to control it and gave more than I received. I never understood how being selfless affected me until I felt what it’s like to be completely empty. I had no idea who I was, my purpose- I had no voice of reason, or sense of love for myself. Just complete emptiness.
The worst feeling is how even your own reflection can be a total stranger.
