She cocooned herself,
Spinning the web tightly,
Around her troubled mind,
Knowing out there,
Out there were the people,
Who watched her unwind,
Who could not be kind.
Losing ground,
Every-day,
She fought to stay sane.
Shackled by pain,
She cocooned her mind,
Her weak troubled mind,
With layer after layer of silken webs,
Webs of self-defense,
From the world,
Who only loved to see her dance,
And play the fool,
For a while.
The world could no longer bear,
To see the raw pain that was there,
Behind her beautiful face,
And her bewitching eyes,
Were the jagged lines,
The mirrors into a soul,
Incomplete...
Unloved,
Unwanted.
She was too much trouble,
Too complicated,
An emotional drain,
They comforted the physical pain,
Feared the mental pain,
They could not understand,
Shuuu….it's a secret,
She told herself as she spun away,
For now,
She’ll play the game,
Play everyone’s game,
Give them what they want,
Whatever it is,
Give it to them.
Maybe they will learn to love you,
Maybe they will see the beauty,
That’s hiding behind the beast.
Waiting for its release,
No...you know better,
They have no eyes to see,
So dance, dance, all alone,
In the quiet of the room,
Where there’s no one coming,
Or anyone to see you cry,
Dance alone,
Live alone,
Breathe alone,
Alone!
Alone!
Hate the world!
Hate them all!
They deserve it,
Damn every single last one,
Whoever walked away,
Leaving you cradling your throbbing heart,
Afraid of their monsters,
They keep you at bay,
Vulnerability is not their game to play,
Damn them all,
For not loving you enough,
For not being tough enough.
Weaklings one and all,
Every single last one,
Unable to be strong,
To carry you along,
When you are weak,
Unable to think,
Unable to speak,
Unable to breathe,
Unable to muster the courage to live.
She spun the web tighter and tighter,
The cocoon complete,
Knowing this would be her tomb.
She closed her eyes,
And slipped away unloved….
Her last thoughts were,
She’d never awake transformed,
A butterfly,
A beautiful airy creature of the day,
For she was always meant to be,
Loved by everyone in every way.
2019
