As I watch it get further and further away,
I ask myself how did it ever come to this
Knowing it’s not ok?
Holding things together became so damn heavy,Am I the one to blame?
Is it all gonna be different can it ever be the
Same?
Building , stacking the blocks of life one by one until they got to high,
And As they start to tumble down I watch each piece tumble by.
Letting the winds of dark shadows blow them all around,
You can find me looking,searching , each block
must be found.
Blind to what hides deep down inside,blind to what’s in front of me ,never leaving it behind,
Stuffing it’s obsessive darkness deep inside my mind.
Waiting for the day of weakness to take over, it wants control one more time.
Thinking it will never happen…it happens at a drop of a dime.
I have grown and stayed strong, overcoming it all,
Reaching a steady point to just slip and fall.
Catching myself quickly,grasping to something to hold,
Praying I make it back up it’s beginning to get cold.
Part of me wants to be weak ,to not have to care…is this really wrong?
Not to have to feel the loneliness ,the emptiness that I seem to drag along.
How far will I go to hide my sorrow,to pretend it’s not really there?
How could I let it get to this ,should I even really care?
Well I can’t answer the questions that I did not hear.
Maybe the real answers I have to face is really the fear?
Why Am I the one to be strong never to weaken at all?
Maybe I jumped on purpose and I really didn’t fall…..
July 28th,2021
