I’m 25, I still wake up to my parents fighting and my breath still catches in my throat.
I still tiptoe to their door to listen while holding my breath. I feel seven again.
My mother gives me great romantic advice but says she’s never been in love. How tragic.
She has had so much love to give with no one to give it to. She’s the kind of woman that wants long walks, coffee brought to bed and blue flowers every Tuesday. Perhaps I get my hopeless romanticity from her.
She says she’s never been a good mother but her worry lines and wrinkles or the way she looks when I tell her I let someone break my heart again tells otherwise
My father kissed the top of my head today and it’s the most fatherly thing he’s done for me in years
I’m in love with someone who’s in love with someone else.
He looked at me strange when I told him (disbelief? Horror? Guilt?)
My best friend says she wants to die
She has a ‘suicide kit’ in her upper drawer. She said all she wants for her 25th birthday is a heart attack
My younger sister says she liked a girl and got over it
She’s now in love with a boy, my mother cried when she found out but didn’t cry when I told her she was cutting herself
My brother has a secret and I wish he never confided in me. I have to carry it around and it’s too heavy for me, I wish I could put it down. I wish someone would help me carry it
The guy I gave my best years to will get married to someone who isn’t me. He says his heart will always ache for me.
My mother told me to give him my best so I don’t live with regrets. I did. Now my heart will never ache for him (I hope)
