i know you check in on me from time to time to see if i have become happier once again, or better yet if i miss you. i know you scroll through my social media and consume yourself with the life that you once were a large part of. i know you think about everything we had been through and think about how things could be different.
but i hope when you see those pictures of me, you feel sad. not because you miss what we had or what could have been, but because you no longer recognize the girl on the screen.
the girl you once knew was kind and soft but has now been hardened by the world and your careless ways. this girl has learned how to live and love not only in spite of you, but for herself. you have taught her that the greatest lesson is to trust only herself and to keep her heart under lock and key so that people like you don’t play with it until it is broken once more.
the smile you see on the screen took forever for her to relearn after her muscles forget what it felt like to be happy. she faked it for awhile but now it is the most real thing about her. her eyes, now bright as ever, had to learn how to shine through all of the clouds and storms that she encountered when alone at night in her room. her brain had to rewire itself after it was taught that it was never enough, not only by you, but by the reflection that looked back at her in the mirror everyday, as well.
she has changed. this is the image of a girl you have never seen before. and the image of a girl you will never see again.
-a.e
