I remember the bitter sweet smiles on the people face, i remember the ones who saw me as a disgrace, i remember the broken promises even worse the bitter lies.
I remember the death of my grandfather that day an angle could’ve cried , i remember the day of my abuse . From that day forward I’ve never smiled, i remember losing my first every match but, my father still being proud .
I remember my mother telling me to be brave in the face of the devil . Because, someday her bones will become ash & nothing will ever be settled. Teaching me to live alone, write type and think never thought these words would be so in sync. Sometimes it dawns on me do others ever recognize the siren of my pain, maybe not , maybe I’m to blame .
Maybe I hold my head to high , relying on the drugs because , he is my high . Never telling me I’m too dark , skinny , or not enough . I can rely on him even on a bad day he still loves me . No need to reconcile or justify our differences. I’ve been taking the hence you want to be distant. Society’s outlook on me was fictitious .
Even worse malicious. They see ä successful black man , and they can’t stand it so I give them a seat , time , to watch me . As I rise like Maya once said, as i deny the eye for an eye like Ghandi suggests. it’s hard though let me get this off my cheats.
Memories of my dead garden, reminders of my dead heart , maybe one day it’ll soften . Maybe never either way we all have the same fate . A deep coffin. With buried secrets, and even worse unnecessary lies . Will you remember me if I ever died . Keep this in memory of me he said before he died . Immortal she but , we all know there’s no such thing as thy living for an eternity.
So hold life closely even if breaking its grip around you because, reminders will keep you company good and bad. Maybe living isn’t for the dead . Maybe we needed another chance, maybe i should’ve asked you for that last dance . Maybe i wasn’t brave , maybe we needed space .
