I’ll put my hopes away for now
Shove my feelings aside
You feel lost in your mind
I feel lost in my mind
No one knows how much I’ve cried
So I put my regular face on
And you do the same
Everyone knows you’re heads fucked up, baby
The way you treat me
Some would deem inhumane
You might as well really hurt me
Make me bleed
It’s so bad
Why don’t we just make it physical?
After all, you can never give me what I need
Do you ever feel shame?
Scream in my face and watch as I stare
Your sad fucking eyes slightly covered by your brown shaggy hair
You tell me to explain
But you’ve made me hallow inside
I contradict my own mind
It doesn’t fucking matter, right?
I’m just so hypocritical
But it’s obvious
The stare towards my face but evident wander around your mind
You feel so intensely
But a part of you has died
Your presence is sadness
I suffer you in the silence
I smell your need for pain
Drown your suffering
Put weights on your chest
It’s evident you don’t want to be here
No matter how much you explain
Become a ghost
Or maybe slice your flesh with a knife
Let the weight of your existence run through your veins
It will all end and it will feel so good
A high impossible not to crave
I question why you’re here
I question if it’s me
But that cannot be the case
Or is it so?
You will die with me clinging to hope
I’ll never be the same
But I’ll visit your grave
Just remind yourself when you leave
You left me with nothing
An inability to cope
How does one feel this much love while feeling so alone?
I’m not fucking naive
But I push my misery to the side
Allow you to kiss my neck and fuck me until I feel
Touch me gently
Make me scream
Loving you is a privilege
Why does it feel like a bad dream?
Will this ever end?
The pain you cause
The dehumanizing words
Your behavior is a trend
But when I lay beside you at the end of the night
I can’t stop myself from starting a fight
I long for you to care
And to love me in kind
It never happens
But for some reason
I let myself think about the past
There is no way to rewind
So I see you through
Choosing you each day
But I can never believe what you say is true
No matter how much I beg
Holding onto an invisible effort
You are an impossible lover.
Why am I here?
You’re so fucked up.
Why can’t you just love her?
