some days
I start to send you songs that remind me of the roads we used to take
of the bars we used to break
but I can’t speak of that
or the pain I left you behind with
when it was just swishers and late night Casey’s trips
you held me when my daddy made me cry
I abandoned you when you wanted to die
and now I pay the price
I remember the day you took that flight to Canada
you were so happy
I didn’t want to let you go
two weeks clean of me and our vices
half empty without you
and left to my own devices
back home,
laughing like our parents did
bong rips in your bedroom
spitting on floors now sacred
Douglas Road bridging our marred souls
ritual smoke out of your fusion windows
music blaring, eyes wide
had I just stayed
there would be no divide
between Halsted and Janet Drive
now,
only your unhinged voice messages
can break the silence of your absence
even for a second
summer, winter goes
come springtime,
does the blue
so I scream into the flowerbeds
I wish I was dead with you
