Coming from you, your words and affirmations. Destroy yourself and habits and inevitable influences consumed throughout aging let everything come and let it foster itself but know it’s always meant to go. Then watch something new come along something is always birthing and dying
I think the more noticeable one is when things end and I’m trying to notice more when things bloom. We only notice the grief because it’s heavy the feelings we subconsciously hold rather than when we’re happy it feels weightless it feels like you’re walking on clouds.
Like a feather and it’s very blinding when you’re happy. You don’t see the treading time bomb waiting to destroy that happiness. I ask myself more often that this month I am happy & why? Because this and that happened rather than something far more worse that could have happened.
You think you want to die some days but that’s not true instead it’s that you just don’t want to experience the human condition and that is all the stupid emotions we’re programmed to experience. My mind is wired to feel them all and I hate it too, but sometimes I remember the ritual.
Sometimes I fall into a deep sleep a dark place where I only have my hands to figure out a way to turn them into fists. I can’t see what is going to happen and I don’t have the tools to get myself out of this place. So I endure the dark, I befriend.
The words floating through like a river disguised as something to hold onto. You can’t hold onto water it slips right through its basic physics. Would you believe me if I said I’ve watched myself drown in a stream leading to a waterfall. That I plummeted so far down that it became a shore and I found home again. That I flipped my inner and outer world.
