My enemy is here: the quiet, the night,
When my mind cannot hide from its plight.
The TV is off, my body’s worn out,
But my thoughts wander far, filling me with doubt.
Last night they traveled so far, I wept,
Till my eyes were swollen and no sadness left.
Tonight, new feelings, stronger and raw,
A numbness, a madness I never foresaw.
This morning, I made love to you, but it was for me,
Using you for pleasure, to set myself free.
The release turned violent, though you couldn’t tell,
When I squeezed your neck, I fought my own hell.
I wanted you to feel the turmoil inside,
Caught between pleasure and pain that won’t hide.
Living yet dying, breathing but bare,
Whispering, “I love you,” in desperate despair.
You said, “I love you more,” unaware of my strife,
If I could revive you, I’d end your life.
You are my darkness, where once was light,
Our path now shadowed by deceit and blight.
Hoping to reclaim what slips from my grasp,
The night, the dark—my enemy’s clasp.
