six pm
What I love about this piece (besides your provocative precision with metaphor) is how you dance with internal rhyme within your meter! This poem is so visceral, and it's really something to follow the maze of lines through transitions to conclusions. Where I thought you'd zig with rhyme you'd zag!
six pm
I love the two stanzas and the way you related the blue to swimming through uncharted waters was familiar yet surprised me. Very clever write, all together.
six pm
With the loss of hope and faith I can see this being a religious metaphor, however, (and I could be projecting) is this about a father figure who walks this plane?
six pm Of all the brevity, slice-of-life poems tend to be my favorite. I really enjoyed this delicate piece.
Observation
six pm What I love about this piece (besides your provocative precision with metaphor) is how you dance with internal rhyme within your meter! This poem is so visceral, and it's really something to follow the maze of lines through transitions to conclusions. Where I thought you'd zig with rhyme you'd zag!
Liver
six pm I love the two stanzas and the way you related the blue to swimming through uncharted waters was familiar yet surprised me. Very clever write, all together.
This One
six pm This poem went in a direction I didn't expect it to. I wonder if it's more that you don't 'need' help rather than that maybe you don't want it?
Peaceful War
six pm I like that you kept this in a paragraph of sorts. The shape is contained like a box and it adds to the confessional spirit of the work imo.
heights
six pm A labyrinth of roots and the ideas that blossom and bud.
garden
six pm Your refrains and the following remind me of philosophies that say, 'heaven is here on earth'. And I really like that.
The Land Beyond the Stars
six pm I like your subtle rhyme in maze and made. You have a really nice cadence.
not a maze
six pm With the loss of hope and faith I can see this being a religious metaphor, however, (and I could be projecting) is this about a father figure who walks this plane?
Can you heal me Father?