I dont hink you understand,
The level at which I love you.
I hear people say, or utter,
She didnt love you, she never did,
She only loved the thought of you.
Yes I loved the thought of you,
The thought of us was, is, heart warming,
It gives me a glow that nothing has ever done before...
I loved the thought of you, but I love you more.
I loved the thought of us, but I love is more,
But I don't think you understand.
You have been told words of encouragement,
Meant to depict me in a certain way that mainly describes your feelings,
A way that hurts, I must admit.
I will accept it.
As long as your smile runs across your dark skin,
As long as I get to hear your melodic laugh,
As long as I can feel you get better,
I will beat, torture and weaken myself,
Because I love you.
I don't think you undedstand that I am paranoid,
You take it as a word, but do you understand the meaning?
I always try to explain, but do you listen to comprehend or to answer?
Listen to me, we may be apart, my fault...
But I wanted to take a step for myself,
I don't need to explain it to anyone else,
Not even you, but I did.
I don't think you understand the extent to which I was torn and unhappy, drowning in tears, I thought I wasn't good enough. Was I?
Really?
I was not happy, and I told you, I screamed my heart out to you,
It was my deepest desire that you understood how I felt without actually knowing how I felt.
I didn't want you to feel the same way, you are not strong enough,
But now that I know I may be doing the same thing to you,
What makes it better than what happened?
I don't say what you did, because it is not a blame game.
We were in this together, as one.
So if you wanna blame yourself, know it was as much my fault as it was yours.
I was tired of the same thing over again, made me feel like my voice wasn't loud enough for you,
Like my words meant nothing to you.
Remember! Made me feel like, doesn't necessarily mean it was your intention.
And anyway you knew this already.
Or maybe you didn't understand.
