I do not know whether it is a constant need for attention,
Or a clear indication that no one is willing to listen,
I fear that my presence is more of a want than need,
Because when I need, people tend not to want.
I'm afraid that being surrounded by people has made me feel more alone then when alone, that I feel as though being by myself will do me better. I'm afraid that I am clingy, wanting and needy that people avoid me in the pits of laughter and conversation that my thoughts and questions are drowned never to be heard again. My so called best friend calls it conflict of interest, I call it not interested. I beg and plead for attention yet people promise to change, will you? When will you notice that I am trying to be with you as much as I can when we're together. You say I should voice out what I want yet you shove me back into thr epitome of darkness to drown in my own thoughts. Do you know how many times I look to you for help infront of people yet you deny me as though we aren't together? Don't you know that even when I am with you I am still alone? I am a troubled child, hoping that I can get a friend that can help me, but clearly my best friend is myself. Behind the curtains and alone you treat me like a goddess, always making promises and saying the right things. Are you tired of me yet we go day by day not seeing each other? Are you fed up with me that in public you can't act the way you do in private? Then leave. Exit ny life the way you exit my premisis when I am with you. Never ask me to voice my opinions again. Because I do. I waste my breath uttering my wants and needs, for the simplest oned to be ignored. I am done. Because either way, with you or without, I will still feel alone.
