heather

As the days race

I feel my heart quicken it’s pace.

Time is running out.

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I’ll never be good enough

I am a failure of a human being

This shit hits me, it’s rough

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All the thoughts...

I can’t stop

Consume me

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You were my biggest lesson

You taught me when to give up

So tired of fighting

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Sometimes I’m just disgusted with myself.

Disgusted with my feelings and emotions.

Disgusted with my neighborhood and my lifestyle...

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Confused. Never have I been more confused.

I sit alone with my thoughts, interactive.

Consumed in thought, being thrashed around.

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They say that promises are meant to be broken.

Caused by suppressed feelings and words unspoken.

The world seems to shatter in those moments.

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I sway back and forth.

As I go back my stomach churns.

I feel free when I fly forward.

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Oh how I wish you were here

Only then would I have less to fear

Never the less it’s made me stronger

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How could I be so dumb

To go back again and again

And after it was done I felt so numb

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